Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

Guess what? It turns out that words do hurt. 🙄

In the study "Do Words Hurt?", scientists discovered that hearing or imagining negative words can trigger the brain’s pain centre. Yes, you read that right. A single negative word can activate the amygdala—your brain's fear hub. This sets off a cascade of stress hormones, impacting your ability to think, reason, and even speak clearly. It's a bit like hitting a panic button. Phrases like "Survive to 2025?" can set off alarm bells in your brain, shutting down your logical thinking.

Not cool. Not helpful.

But here's the twist: positive words can change your brain and your reality. Research shows that thinking or saying positive words can stimulate the brain’s action centres, leading to an increase in motivation, confidence, and overall positivity. The more you focus on the good, the more your brain rewires itself to continue seeking the positive.

How Words Reshape Your Brain

A landmark study led by Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman revealed that a single word can influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress. According to their research, positive words like “peace” and “love” can alter the functioning of your brain, especially in areas related to motivation and emotional regulation. Negative words, on the other hand, increase activity in the amygdala, which heightens the release of stress hormones.

In essence, our thoughts and words actively shape the structure of our brain over time. The implications are powerful: if we speak to ourselves or others in negative terms, we reinforce feelings of fear, anxiety, and stress. Positive language, however, creates a sense of safety and encouragement, not only within ourselves but in the people around us.

Let me show you an example:

Positive self-talk: If you consistently use positive words like “capable” or “resilient” when thinking about yourself, you’ll start to see the good in yourself and those around you.
Negative self-talk: In contrast, if you lean on negative phrases like “I’m not good enough,” your brain gets rewired to expect negativity, leading to doubt and mistrust in yourself and others.

Practical Tips to Harness the Power of Words

So, how can you use this knowledge to your advantage? Here are some practical strategies:

Catch your negative words
Start by identifying the words or phrases that bring you down. For example, “I’m just surviving” or “I’m not sure if I can do this.” Write them down in a list.
Reframe them
Once you’ve caught the negative words, it’s time to change them. Replace “survive” with “thrive” or “overcome.” Make two columns: one for your negative words and one for your more empowering replacements.
Repeat and embed
Repetition is key to rewiring your brain. Find moments in your day—whether it’s during your morning routine or before meetings—to repeat your positive words. Over time, this will become a habit and transform your thinking.

Your Words Shape Others Too

It’s not just your inner dialogue that matters—your words impact those around you too.

We’re wired to be social creatures, and our words affect each other’s emotional and physical states. Neuroscientist Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett explains this as the “social regulation of emotion.” We constantly exchange energy and emotions with others, sometimes without realising it. A simple comment—positive or negative—can influence someone else’s nervous system.

For instance:

A kind word from a friend after a stressful day can calm your entire body, lowering your heart rate and stress levels.
A harsh remark can do the opposite—flood your system with stress hormones, making you feel tense and drained.

Imagine sending a message to a friend across the world. Even without hearing your voice or seeing your face, your words alone can change their mood, heart rate, and entire nervous system. Our words regulate each other in ways we often overlook.

So, what’s the takeaway?

By focusing on a healthier inner dialogue and using more helpful language with ourselves and others, we can create a ripple effect of positive change. It starts with small, intentional shifts that can make a significant difference.

Three Quick Tips to Get Started:

Be mindful of your words: Whether spoken to yourself or others, words have power. Make conscious choices about the language you use.
Create a daily habit: Set a routine where you intentionally use positive words. Write them on sticky notes or use phone reminders to prompt yourself.
Model positive language: When communicating with colleagues, friends, or family, practice saying things that uplift and encourage. Your words have a lasting impact.

Want to chat more about your words or your world?
We coach individuals and leaders on how to transform their language to get out of their own way and create a more positive reality. Feel free to reach out if you want to explore this further.